Like It Or Not

These last two weeks have been so crazy. I only get about 5 hours of sleep ever night. What really weird is that I got used to it. Getting up at 4 every morning just to see him...
Yesterday was our 6 month anniversary. Every time I'm with him, I wish I never had to leave. Jus stay there with him in perfect happiness. Even if we were mad at each other for some reason, at least it would be with him. 
Early mornings, late nights, letters, words, feelings, songs, these past 6 months are just a giant jumble of emotions.
Only one thing left for me to do to finally move on....

Life is never stable.
Someone get me out of here.

Things have been nothing short of hectic for me lately. I'm going crazy with all of the college stuff. Orientation, placement testing...I took my placement test on Saturday. I loved it there. I love the campus, I'm so excited to start. I'm going to go to summer school starting at the end of the month. I'll have to get up early to take the Metro but it's alright. I need to get out on my own already. And it's cool because there's a bus stop RIGHT in front of the school so it'll be easy to get home and back. Yay. =o)
Things with my mom feel like they're getting worse. We haven't talked. I feel like she's just pushing me out of her life entirely. She told my little brother that she thinks I'm mad at her. Nope, that's not it. It's like she's making plans to move to Texas in a couple of years and the fact that she's leaving me completely out of those plans kind of hurts me. But thinking about it....just makes me realize that I'm growing up and going to be on my own pretty soon. Making my own desisions, and most of them without her. I mean, I'm already making plans for the future.
It seems like Jason has big plans in store for us, but I don't mind. I'm glad too because things have been going really well. We don't see each other every day. Almost every 2 days now. It's good because there's no arguing when we're together. Just being happy. And it seems right when I think I have him figured out, I learn something new that suprises the hell out of me. And with my school only 20 minutes away....he feels confident that we'll work it out. I know we will. For the first semester, I'll have to get adjusted and he'll be busy with band. And I won't have any other guys as a distraction. 
All girls school....I'm still not sure how I'll handle it but I think I'll be okay.

Ugh I suck.
First off, I need to call back some people. I need to call back Theresa, who phone call I keep missing! I hardly keep my phone around me since no one ever calls me but I should have it with me more often. And Jen ended up calling me and I tried calling her but no luck...
And Daniel! I know you'll read this, I feel like such a horrible friend. Damn, trust me when I say I'll make it up to you, seriously. It was alot of family drama that I'll explain to you when I get the chance to FINALLY talk to you on the phone. But it ended up with me just turning off my phone so my mom would stop calling me. I had to ignore your calls while I was on the phone with her.
Haha I knew you would love my answering machine.
Sigh.
Long weekend.
I'll write more later.

Done with people who just don't care. It's taken me 17 long years to find people that really matter to me and vice versa. But I guess it's okay as long as they're true.
I miss my friend Theresa too much, and everytime she calls me, she catches me right when I'm going to take a nap or something. She would always pop up at school and brighten up my day, and now my little sunshine is gone. But I'll call her and hang out with her soon, after July 4th.

I need to start working out pretty soon. I ate too much food while on my road trip to Texas, and it might be catching up to me. I'm going to swim more and am supposed to start working out with my little brother in the morning, who is is as equally bored as I am.

Summertime is the perfect time to catch up on things I didn't get to do during the year, I'm going to the library and catching up on reading. School is going to start sooner than I know it. I need to get out of this house, I'm losing my sanity here, not with the people inside but with everything surrounding it. All these negative neighbors piss me off, stupid little girls with attitudes, I'll come back from school and they'll all be pregnant. Anyways....

Or maybe because me and Jason are starting to see each other less and less. Before I could just be like "I'll see him at school tomorrow..." But it's not like that, I feel like the world's going to end every time he leaves or when I have to leave him. Pretty sad I guess. All my parents think it is is infatuation. But as the usual teen angst problem, how would they understand what I'm going through, right?

There, I think I'm done for now.